The Orange Monstrosity

by DOOMFOOT

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credits

released May 8, 2012

Written*, recorded and performed by Stuart Smythe

*except for title track 'The Orange Monstrosity' written and sung by Gareth Hogg, and 'Oh Yannis' written by David, Stuart and Kirsty Smythe

Big props to my cat, Shellac, who was there for me through the hard times.

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about

DOOMFOOT UK

Once upon a time Stuart 'The Rage' Smithers had a dream. That dream was to become a cyborg; transplant his organic brain into a metal bionic body, fly into space and take over the galaxy. Unfortunately he didn't have any scientific knowledge or the necessary funding, so instead he started a 'comedy band side project' in the vague hope that someday people might actually pay money for his music. ... more

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Track Name: Sweet Sweet Lovin
I had a feelin you were somethin special
I had a feelin you were one of a kind
I had to come and take a closer look, girl
But I really didn't think you'd mind

Well, hey baby! I think we got ourselves a connection
We got a freaky chemistry alright
I think I'd like to get to know you much better
I think I'd like to make some sweet love tonight

Sweet sweet lovin yeah

Now don't think I'd ever mess you around girl
I'm not the kinda guy to lead astray, not me
I just wanna use your sexual body
In the most delirious way (take it guitar)

Sweet sweet lovin yeah

(guitar solo)
Track Name: Mrs Moochacha
Moochacha
Moochacha
Moochacha
Moochacha

(repeat to fade)
Track Name: Oh Yannis
Oh Yannis, oh Yannis
On the Macedonian border
Oh Yannis, oh Yannis
Put a bullet through my heart (bom bom)

Oh Spiros, oh Spiros
Won't you weigh your Scales of Justice?
Oh Spiros, oh Spiros
Play your bazouki tonight (bom bom)

Oh Stefanos, oh Stefanos
Won't you let us bring your boat in?
Oh Stefanos, oh Stefanos
Won't you look into my eyes? (bom bom)
Track Name: Once Upon A Time
Once upon a time I met a beautiful girl
She had eyes deep blue and skin so placid
It fell apart when I asked her her name
and she turned to me and said 'Fanny Acid'

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a total shit
But I have to admit she caught me off guard
And it shames me to say it but I couldn't help myself;
I started to laugh

Well her eyes filled up in a significant way
And I thought to myself, 'I can't let this happen!
With eyes so blue and a figure so fine,
This is just the kind of girl that I should be tapping!'

So I took her to the movies
And I took her to the Discotheque
And then we went back to her place
For some coffee and a Tête à Têt(e)
And I was happy to report that
She didn't live up to her name;
Au contraire, what a sexy dame!

Well, two years down the line things were going pretty well
So I got down on one knee
An old fashioned girl with old fashioned ways;
She liked things traditionally

But she hesitated, and looking down at me
With a glint in her eyes
She said 'I'm very very sorry but it just couldn't work.
I could never marry you because your last name's Smythe!'
Track Name: Shellac The Cat
He's a cat, he's got style
He's a man who knows exactly what he wants
And if he could get away with it
He'd leave you looking the guilty one

Everybody look sharp when he comes your way
Or you just might not live to see another day

He's got green eyes and a black body
His name is Shellac and he smells a bit coddy

(organ solo)

See him walking down the street
Like a guy who's got the world at his paws
But don't you ever try to stop him
Or he'll take you down without a second thought

Everybody get down when he's in your hood
Cos you don't want him to see you when he's up to no good

He's got green eyes and a black body
His name is Shellac and he smells a bit coddy

(guitar solo)
Track Name: Delusions
You and me we got friction
And I kinda find it hot
(oh yeah sugar, no sugar, no sugar, have a little bowl of sugar, sugar)
But when you're living in a fiction
It doesn't count for a lot
(don't fight with me, lie with me baby, come have a little bite with me baby)

I see a fight wherever I go!

It's not my fault if you're deluded
Can't be everything you seem to want me to be
I guess it's part of it
It's not my fault if I'm deluded
Can't let anybody see what I haven't seen
It's what you do to me

Well I won't say I'm in heaven
When we're giving it hell
(you're an angel, you're a demon sugar, and like hell our love's steaming sugar)
But if it keeps us together
Then it's suiting us well
(don't fight with me, lie with me baby, come have a little bite with me baby)
Track Name: The Orange Monstrosity
You're there, waiting for me all the time
I wish it wasn't so hard to make this line rhyme
It's hard to say what you are
But I cannot get away from you, not even at the bar

You'll never escape the Orange Monstrosity
You try but you can't get away
The orange monster strikes with ferocity
It'll come after you every freaking day

You cannot escape
You cannot escape
My eyes see my life decay
You cannot escape
It'll wrap you up in tape
My mind always kept at bay

You attack with complex coded words
The masses of users all concurred
It'll suck you in, steal your life
It'll somehow attack everyone's future wife

You'll never escape that orange glow
As day turns to night you'll see
It'll never leave and you won't go
There's no escaping The Orange Monstrosity

You cannot escape
You cannot escape
It'll take your soul as a fee
You cannot escape
No you can't wear that cape
Just leave me be!
Track Name: I Wanna Touch The Whole Wide World
I wanna touch you in the mirror
I wanna touch you in the face
I wanna touch your beautiful body
I wanna touch it all over the place

I wanna touch you in the bathroom
I wanna touch you in the hall
I wanna touch you on the Eiffel Tower
I wanna touch you on the Taj Mahal

I wanna touch you in every tourist attraction
That I could touch you in around the world
I wanna touch you where the weather's hot babe
I wanna touch you where the weather's cold

I wanna touch you when the time's just right babe
I wanna touch you when it's overdue
I wanna touch you when you least expect it
I wanna touch you till we stick like glue

I wanna touch you with my magic fingers
I wanna touch you with my sexual vibe
I wanna touch you with my heart and soul babe
But most of all I wanna touch you thighs

I wanna touch you all the way past third base
I wanna touch you all the way up to four
I wanna touch you till my heart stops beating
And even then I wanna touch you some more

I wanna touch you like you were an oasis
Out in a desert of death and despair
I wanna touch you using only my tongue now
I wanna rub my face into your hair

When we make love
All the oceans of the world light up
With the glow of exotic jellyfish
And the sun and the moon meet in the sky
And make out, while below
Famine becomes a feast
Pestilence becomes a sexy dance
Plague becomes vague
War becomes...more!

Now let me get something straight
I don't wanna be your weekend lover
And I think it would be such a waste
If we couldn't be together

You and me we were meant to be now
We fit like a hand in a glove
I wanna tell the whole wide world
I think I'm falling in love!

Woooaaaaahhhhhhhh wadaa waddaa woahh yeah